We always open our Christmas presents on Christmas Eve. It’s a family tradition that we have and one that we’ve done as long as I can remember. Maybe my family wasn’t big on delayed gratification – I dunno. So anyway, the Christmas Eve of ’09 we sat down to a lovely dinner that my vampire wife fixed for us and proceeded to open presents.
We had a great time with dad, and he spoiled us with way too many gifts as always. Afterward, we were cleaning up the pile of discarded papers and boxes when I noticed Duchess was laying on her bed (her Christmas present), chomping away on her dew claw bandage like Kirstie Alley at a Vegas buffet.
Pandalerium ensued (and yes I’m quite aware that’s not a real word). Blood was going everywhere. She had pulled her bandage down and chewed the stitches off of one of her wrists leaving a big, open, seeping wound. I thought, “I’m the biggest idiot in the world for scheduling a surgery for one of MY dogs before a holiday.” (By the way I don’t need any comments from readers affirming this.)
My dad and I wrangled Duchess into the utility room and shut the door (the only room in the house that doesn’t have carpet) and I started screaming for a first-aid kit. I might as well been screaming for a boat anchor because we don’t really have much of a first-aid kit I found out. Luckily, my wife found a basket that had various band-aids, bandages, gauze, etc. in it.
Oh wait, I need to back up. I’ve left out the part where the stress and medication caused Duchess’ butt to EXPLODE in her crate earlier that day. Yeah. Good times. She’d stepped in her mess several times, so I’m sure she was covered in all sorts of wonderful bacteria – including her bandages and the now open wound she has on her wrist… not to mention the stitched/stapled belly.
Because of the aforementioned nastiness, we made sure to clean her latest handiwork with some alcohol before trying to wrap her up again. We got her sanitized, put some Neosporin on the wound, applied gauze, then began wrapping with an Ace bandage. Only problem – no tape. The only tape we could find was some black electrical tape. Any shelter in a storm I suppose.
Got her wrapped and taped up – looking like a (really cute) version of Frankenstein’s monster. Crisis averted – again! Until of course the next day – biggest holiday in the United States – Christmas Day.
***Sorry there are no pics with this post – there was too much chaos at the time to get any pictures. I promise there will be some tomorrow!***
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