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Posts Tagged ‘dog’

So my friend that I’ve had since I was 12 came to visit the other day.  We grew up together and got in to more trouble than either of us can seem to remember.  Well, he was visiting family not far away and he came to stay with us for a day.  He brought his 7 year old basenji/red heeler cross with him named Jetta.

We met at a park so that our dogs could meet on neutral territory, get to know each other, then walk as a pack.

Duchess is usually scared to death of other dogs and starts the nervous drooling thing, but after a brief introduction, she was pretty excited about having a new friend to play with.  Jake on the other hand acts like an idiot in public.  He goes into this hyperventilating spaz mode which is great at getting leashes tangled.

We came home and let the dogs out in the backyard to run and play together.  I just love how I happened to take this picture in the junkiest part of our backyard.

After playing outside in the heat, they were exhausted and came in to crash.  Jetta was delighted to see that we had a dog bed that met her exact specifications.

That night after the nap, Jetta came to life with vigor.  She kept getting all up in Duchess’ bidness as you can see.

And then it was time to play!  This is Duchess and Jetta doing their Godzilla vs. Mothra impression (notice the trucks below them… I imagine tiny little Japanese people screaming and running away).

Then Jetta started getting angry for some reason.  I think she’s a mogwai and isn’t supposed to be fed or watered after midnight or something.  Jake’s expression shows that he’s quite unamused by the curly-tailed dog with the chip on her shoulder.  Duchess is trying to show submission here to let Jetta know that she just wants to play.

But nope.  Jetta had made up her mind that, being a metroplex dog, she was way too good to play with these hillbillies that live in the sticks.

So the dogs went to their own areas and went to snoozing.  But the story doesn’t end there.  As we were wrapping up for the night, my friend said, “I need to get something out of my truck before you lock up.”  I said, “Okay sure” and started cleaning up and whatnot.

When he went out the front door, Jetta turned her skin inside out, transformed into a Tasmanian devil and went for the kill on poor little Oliver who was passed out cold.  I grabbed her harness to pull her off of him… and she ate my face.

I went to the ground with her so that I could pin her down and try to control those teeth that were flailing in all directions.  The Vampire Wife was laughing her head off and simply asked, “Are you okay?”  That’s when I looked up at her and she could see all the blood.  She quit laughing.

Although, the part I find absolutely hilarious is thinking about it from my friend’s standpoint when he walked in.  Dogs are passed out in such calm tranquility when he walks out the door.  He comes back in 45 seconds later to find me laying on top of his dog, clutching her in a death grip, with puncture wounds on my chin, with my face, shirt, jeans all covered in blood.

He just kinda stood there with his iPhone in his hand, completely stunned.  He just said, “….what…..happened?” with his eyebrows up as far as they can go. I still laugh every time I think about what it would be like to come back in the house to see that.

The kicker?  The next day I was the speaker for the Lions club here.  Oh well, at least telling the story of the facial wounds gave me an icebreaker to get the crowd loosened up.

So a tetanus shot later (those things hurt for days!) and a round of antibiotics, I’m all healed up.  Oh and bonus – I have a wicked cool Indiana Jones scar in the crease of my chin now!  I was all proud of it and showing the Vampire Wife and she said, “Indiana Jones has a scar on his chin?”  *sigh*

We were talking about my friend last night (he and I text through the Rangers games so that I can make fun of his favorite player and he can tell me how his guy is better than my guy blah blah blah) and the Vampire Wife said, “He should come visit more often… without Jetta.”

I agreed.

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Sorry it’s been a while.  We were on vacation for a week, then The Boy went to be with the grandparents for a week, so our routine got a little wonky for a bit.

While The Boy was gone, The Smallish Boy whose grandparents live across the street came over to visit us one night.  I gave him a big block of chocolate (from what I understand, he’d never had chocolate before, so of course I had to oblige) and let him play with the dogs.

Notice that Oliver the Anti-Social is nowhere to be found.  Freak.

In this photo, Duchess seems to be saying, “Dude… you can’t handle your chocolate very well.  If you don’t calm down Imma gone have to put the smack down on you.”

Which ended with her then making good on her threat.

The highlight of the visit was when we got busy talking and didn’t notice that The Smallish Boy had climbed on Jake’s back saddle-style while Jake was laying on the ground.  I looked up just in time for Jake to take off like a bucking bronco.  The Smallish Boy flew through the air and bounced off some various objects like a ping pong ball.  It was quite entertaining.  He thought it was pretty funny too, thank goodness.

Oh and speaking of Jake, he seems to be almost completely healed and has finished his last round of antibiotics.  Now we just have to keep an eye on it to make sure no infection comes back.  I hope he’s out of the woods now though.

Next time The Smallish Boy comes over though, I think I’ll feed him about a pound of chocolate, put a helmet on him and wrap him in bubble wrap, then pump Jake full of his opiates.  Only this time I’m gonna have the video camera rolling.

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“What?  Move?  Ballgame?  I know not of this ‘ballgame’ of which you speak… I am not from your country.”

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Or at least she’s really trying her best at it.  When you have hair as long as the Vampire Wife’s, you probably need an extra hand… errr… paw now and then.

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The boy agrees with her.

Anyone got a cabin in the mountains they’re just dying to share with us???

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I don’t really know why, but we’ve never taken Duchess down to the duck pond (which has geese as well as ducks).  We’ve walked by it a zillion times on walks, but have never actually taken her there to get up close and personal with those nasty little suckers.  They have it fenced off… presumably to protect the little hissing, bad attitude birds, but I think it’s really so they don’t come bite the noses off curious dogs and fingers off of rosy cheeked toddlers.

They really are despicable little things.  They run around honking and squawking and hissing like you’re there to wreak havoc on their little slice of heaven.  I mean come on, how dare us bring foodables for them to eat so that they don’t have to forage for it?  The audacity of us humans.

Come to think of it, now I remember why I haven’t taken Duchess there until now.

Anyway, the Vampire Wife had some old bread the other day she wanted to go give to the grouchy hobo geese, so we grabbed the dogs and headed out the door.  I don’t think you can hear it on the video, but there was one particularly nasty goose that was hissing at us as we were walking along.  Duchess was quite disturbed.  You can see her stopping and looking back at me periodically to make sure I was hearing the maximum rudeness of the stupid honker.

And here the dogs are wondering why The Boy is throwing away perfectly good foodables to such ungrateful hobo birds.

You might be wondering where the little one is during all this?  Oliver the Anti-Social is, of course, hiding under my legs wanting to go back home so he can go back to sitting under an end table and staring at the wall.  Weirdo.

After The Boy threw about three loaves of bread out in about 20 seconds (he was more fascinated with the fish in the pond and was trying to create a monster swarm of fish by throwing out a bunch at once) we were ready to come back home… but not until Duchess gave the hobo birds a dirty stare (I don’t know why there are no birds in this picture).

We’ll have to go back again soon so that I can take some pictures of the noisy little urchins (and the fish swarms… those are pretty freaky).  It’s starting to get pretty hot and we are the exact opposite of warm weather people, so don’t keep your paws crossed.

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If you’re my facebook friend, then you know that we were shocked a while back when we tried to buy some bones for the dogs at the local grocery store and they told us no.  Well, we were in another town to run some errands and stopped by their grocery store and guess what… they were more than happy to sell us a product in exchange for money.  How strange is that?

I asked the butcher if he had some large bones for my dogs.  He said, “Sure.” and disappeared for a while.  He came back holding something out of a caveman movie.  He asked if I wanted it whole, and I told him to cut it into thirds.  He packaged it up for us and off we went.

Duchess was most pleased with our offering.

We headed outside to get some sun and let the dogs gnaw on their new present for the rest of the day.

Only problem was that Duchess thought all three pieces belonged to her.  Here she is planning her attack on the anti social corgi.

So I had to split everyone up.  Good thing our backyard is pretty big.

I don’t think Jake moved from that spot for about four hours.  Duchess finally settled in and went to work.

Only problem was that around 5:00 the next morning, she started whining and whimpering and wouldn’t stop.  I finally got up and let her out and she bolted across the yard and proceeded to shoot a poop rainbow across the yard.  I’m surprised she didn’t wake up the whole neighborhood with her little concert.

Good thing I keep medicine on hand for occasions like this.  So… we learned a valuable lesson here:  If your local butcher refuses to sell you giant dinosaur bones for your dogs, you should listen to him.

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