Posts Tagged ‘Golden Retriver’

So my friend that I’ve had since I was 12 came to visit the other day.  We grew up together and got in to more trouble than either of us can seem to remember.  Well, he was visiting family not far away and he came to stay with us for a day.  He brought his 7 year old basenji/red heeler cross with him named Jetta.

We met at a park so that our dogs could meet on neutral territory, get to know each other, then walk as a pack.

Duchess is usually scared to death of other dogs and starts the nervous drooling thing, but after a brief introduction, she was pretty excited about having a new friend to play with.  Jake on the other hand acts like an idiot in public.  He goes into this hyperventilating spaz mode which is great at getting leashes tangled.

We came home and let the dogs out in the backyard to run and play together.  I just love how I happened to take this picture in the junkiest part of our backyard.

After playing outside in the heat, they were exhausted and came in to crash.  Jetta was delighted to see that we had a dog bed that met her exact specifications.

That night after the nap, Jetta came to life with vigor.  She kept getting all up in Duchess’ bidness as you can see.

And then it was time to play!  This is Duchess and Jetta doing their Godzilla vs. Mothra impression (notice the trucks below them… I imagine tiny little Japanese people screaming and running away).

Then Jetta started getting angry for some reason.  I think she’s a mogwai and isn’t supposed to be fed or watered after midnight or something.  Jake’s expression shows that he’s quite unamused by the curly-tailed dog with the chip on her shoulder.  Duchess is trying to show submission here to let Jetta know that she just wants to play.

But nope.  Jetta had made up her mind that, being a metroplex dog, she was way too good to play with these hillbillies that live in the sticks.

So the dogs went to their own areas and went to snoozing.  But the story doesn’t end there.  As we were wrapping up for the night, my friend said, “I need to get something out of my truck before you lock up.”  I said, “Okay sure” and started cleaning up and whatnot.

When he went out the front door, Jetta turned her skin inside out, transformed into a Tasmanian devil and went for the kill on poor little Oliver who was passed out cold.  I grabbed her harness to pull her off of him… and she ate my face.

I went to the ground with her so that I could pin her down and try to control those teeth that were flailing in all directions.  The Vampire Wife was laughing her head off and simply asked, “Are you okay?”  That’s when I looked up at her and she could see all the blood.  She quit laughing.

Although, the part I find absolutely hilarious is thinking about it from my friend’s standpoint when he walked in.  Dogs are passed out in such calm tranquility when he walks out the door.  He comes back in 45 seconds later to find me laying on top of his dog, clutching her in a death grip, with puncture wounds on my chin, with my face, shirt, jeans all covered in blood.

He just kinda stood there with his iPhone in his hand, completely stunned.  He just said, “….what…..happened?” with his eyebrows up as far as they can go. I still laugh every time I think about what it would be like to come back in the house to see that.

The kicker?  The next day I was the speaker for the Lions club here.  Oh well, at least telling the story of the facial wounds gave me an icebreaker to get the crowd loosened up.

So a tetanus shot later (those things hurt for days!) and a round of antibiotics, I’m all healed up.  Oh and bonus – I have a wicked cool Indiana Jones scar in the crease of my chin now!  I was all proud of it and showing the Vampire Wife and she said, “Indiana Jones has a scar on his chin?”  *sigh*

We were talking about my friend last night (he and I text through the Rangers games so that I can make fun of his favorite player and he can tell me how his guy is better than my guy blah blah blah) and the Vampire Wife said, “He should come visit more often… without Jetta.”

I agreed.

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As I type.  It’s not like he’s shooting up or anything, it’s all legal.  I had to take him back to the vet today for a follow up (Sorry – no pictures… was running late leaving work and so was then late for the appointment and left the camera behind in the chaos) and they gave him some happy pills.

They said that his wound is starting to heal the slightest bit (still looks uber nasty) but still isn’t making huge progress.  They extended his antibiotic regimen for another round and are making a switch from Rimadyl to a low-dose opiate.  I dumped his new feel-goods in his bowl a couple minutes ago, so we’ll see how it goes.

The Rimadyl was for his arthritis, which we started a couple weeks ago.  The vet wanted to see how he did on the opiate since there can be bad side effects from being on the Rimadyl long term.  Hopefully it will work as good as the Rimadyl did.

So, sorry for no pictures, but I wanted to update because I know a lot of you are following Jake’s progress.  I promise I’ll get back to blogging about Duchess eventually – it’s just this little event has taken over our household for now.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go pick out the perfect tunes for Jake’s first trip… I’m thinking “The End” by The Doors or “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd.

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Every night, we put the boy down to bed, feed the three dogs, and settle in for the evening.  After they’re all done eating they take a potty break then come back inside.  This is when some strange phenomenon occurs.  I don’t know exactly how it got started… it just sorta happened I guess.  Perhaps they said, “Hey, I like to chew on big hunks of plastic after I eat.  As do I.  Well let’s form a club then.” (That’s a completely self indulgent Mitch Hedberg reference there for those who are thinking that makes absolutely no sense.)

They each pick out a nylabone, pick a spot to camp out on, and go to town chewing.  It’s like a community chew time.  It’s great I guess because it’s kind of like brushing their teeth – without all the squirming and gnawing and fighting and whatnot.  Have you ever tried to brush your dog’s teeth?  I have.  It was… unsuccessful.  I may try again some time, but for now the nylabone will have to do.

We looooove nylabones around this house.  They last for a long time considering the massive force that they’re subjected to, and keep the doggies happy when they feel like they need something to do.  We have tons of them – scattered ALL over the house.  Santa even brought a few this year since the old ones were getting worn down and needed to be retired.

There’s only one drawback though.  The ends where those chompers go to work get these little sharp prongs that stick out.  I don’t know how they manage to chew these things, but no one is complaining so far.  Sometimes we have to take it away from Jake if he gets a little too ambitious with it because he’ll make himself bleed (remember, he’s the insane one… obviously has a self mutilation problem).

Here’s a picture of one that’s been worked over pretty good.  I don’t know how well you can see the little prongs of death, but trust me they’re there.  I have no clue what that brown gunk is on it, and I’m not asking any questions.  Some things are better left as a mystery.

It’s not really a problem until it’s 2 AM and you have to go to the bathroom.  Imagine getting out of bed, staggering blindly around in a dark house still in a half-asleep stupor just to step on a cactus with your bare feet.  No wait… a cactus that’s on fire, has been covered in super glue, rolled in shards of glass, dipped in kerosene, lit on fire with napalm, then coated with a nice helping of bee stingers.  There.  I think that pretty much describes what it’s like stepping on one of those landmines in the middle of the night.

It’s quite easy to tell when my wife, the vampire, has found one in the middle of the night with her tootsies.  I’d always thought of vampires as being very refined, cultured, and quite elegant.  It’s funny how a hunk of plastic can throw all of those preconceived notions out the window in a heartbeat.

Maybe they should put that in the next Twilight movie? (disclaimer – I’ve never seen, read, or touched anything Twilight.  They seem way too… sparkly for me.)

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