Posts Tagged ‘Great Danes’

If you’re my facebook friend, then you know that we were shocked a while back when we tried to buy some bones for the dogs at the local grocery store and they told us no.  Well, we were in another town to run some errands and stopped by their grocery store and guess what… they were more than happy to sell us a product in exchange for money.  How strange is that?

I asked the butcher if he had some large bones for my dogs.  He said, “Sure.” and disappeared for a while.  He came back holding something out of a caveman movie.  He asked if I wanted it whole, and I told him to cut it into thirds.  He packaged it up for us and off we went.

Duchess was most pleased with our offering.

We headed outside to get some sun and let the dogs gnaw on their new present for the rest of the day.

Only problem was that Duchess thought all three pieces belonged to her.  Here she is planning her attack on the anti social corgi.

So I had to split everyone up.  Good thing our backyard is pretty big.

I don’t think Jake moved from that spot for about four hours.  Duchess finally settled in and went to work.

Only problem was that around 5:00 the next morning, she started whining and whimpering and wouldn’t stop.  I finally got up and let her out and she bolted across the yard and proceeded to shoot a poop rainbow across the yard.  I’m surprised she didn’t wake up the whole neighborhood with her little concert.

Good thing I keep medicine on hand for occasions like this.  So… we learned a valuable lesson here:  If your local butcher refuses to sell you giant dinosaur bones for your dogs, you should listen to him.

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I was just looking at photos and realized I left something out of the last post about the Marmaduke movie.  Do you remember waaaaaaaay back in one of my first entries how Jake had a jealousy outburst since I was starting the blog for Duchess and he ate a hole in the carpet?

Well, since he figures we all left to go see a movie about Great Danes, he’d decide to have another go at it, being the passive-aggressive Golden Retriever that he is.  This time, the trash can was the victim.  We walked in the door to this little mess… and Jake sitting right there telling on himself.  He quickly went and put himself in time-out.

As you can see, he didn’t knock the can over, just dug around in it and pulled out some treasures, shredded some napkins and whatnot.  Just something to let us know he wasn’t happy.

The blue thing by the trash can in the pic above?  That’s a Marmaduke advertisement that came in The Boy’s high-fat, super-high-calorie- really-really-really-bad-for-you fast food meal.  Coincidence?  I think not.

At least it wasn’t the carpet this time.

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And of course The Boy just HAD to go see it… so we reluctantly took him to see it this weekend.  You see, we usually don’t prefer any sort of movie that appeals to the general public.  I’m not really sure why, but we almost always hate any movie that is “the big thing” for that week or month.  The Vampire Wife and I usually go for something more offbeat, dark, or quirky.

For instance, we finally got around to seeing Avatar a month or so ago.  I guess we’re the only two people on the face of the earth that didn’t enjoy it.  Seemed to us like it was an overblown 3 hour cartoon with blue people and glowy stuff.  However, the next night we watched a great little indie movie called Sunshine Cleaning that we felt was a 100 times better than Avatar.  We’re weird I guess.

So you can imagine when The Boy wanted to go see the latest talking dog movie, we were less than thrilled, but we smiled, sucked it up, and went to the superubermegaplex to watch the latest brain rotter to come out.  There we were with every other Bubba in the 6 county area with their kids (none of which understand you shouldn’t kick the seat in front of you – or sound like a cow chewing their cud when you eat your popcorn).

We watched the movie – and it was as bad as we expected – complete with cheesy group choreography at the end *sigh*.  However, The Boy loved it and that’s all that really matters.  He got quite a kick out of it; I think because he could see a little bit of Duchess in Marmaduke’s actions.

The part at the beginning where Marmaduke escapes the bath tub to go on a zoomie episode was pretty funny actually.  Not because of the zoomies, but the reaction of the rest of the family.  Everyone just picked up their drinks and kept reading the paper or doing what they were doing because they knew the zoomies would fly through there and knock things around.

So anyway, I really hope this movie flops and flops hard.  Not because I have any ill-will towards the movie studio, but because I really don’t want another “101 Dalmatians” epidemic on our hands where the shelters and pounds were full of Dalmatians.  People saw the movie, thought to themselves “Awww how cute!” then ran out and bought a puppy or two.  6 months later they had one incredibly hyper and difficult to manage dog on their hands and they wound up giving it up or letting it go.

I’d hate to see this happen with Great Danes.  I think they’re a magnificent breed (and my personal favorite obviously) but they’re not for everyone.  There are already too many that wind up in shelters and rescues as it is.  Hopefully this movie will be bad enough that we won’t see much of an influx… but I have a feeling the puppy mills have been cranking out puppies in anticipation of the movie.  Hopefully I’m wrong.

On a much, much lighter note… we found something special for the dogs today.  Will have to blog about it soon!

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We finally got a chance to film the winner of Duchess’ Spring Cleaning Contest the other night.  We put the 5 finalists’ names down on plates, lined them up, put treats on them, then swapped them around and let Duchess choose one.

Here’s the Vampire Wife just finishing putting down the treats…

And then here’s the video of Duchess picking the winner!

And a picture of Duchess with the winning entry’s plate…

She doesn’t look very happy – I think maybe she has a crush on Mango.

So congratulations Tucker!  Since you were picked the winner, I’m so glad we decided to re-do the first plate before heading outside.  The Vampire Wife tried to get artsy and the first plate looked like Yucker…

And here’s the winning entry again…

Aaaaaand as a special treat, Duchess wanted to do her bye bye trick for everyone that entered…

But we hope it isn’t bye bye for all you contestants – we hope you stick around and become our blog pals.  Have a great weekend everyone!

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I think it’s week 4.  Maybe it’s week 5, but it’s technically just week 4 because we skipped a week due to snow.  I’m not really certain.  Regardless – we had class and it was this week.  That’s really all the information that we need for this blog now isn’t it?

It was mostly a review of what we’d done the previous week (which was quite a lot), so I won’t bore you with more pictures of doing the same thing as the last update.  However, we did make a new friend this week.  Meet Gus.

Gus is the doberman.  Not my boy on the right.  Gus is an absolutely beautiful doberman owned by our class instructors.  He’s got a long line of titles and initials behind his name and is a therapy dog as well.  Doesn’t he look striking and macho?

Well, that changed a little while later when he got a manicure in front of the whole class.

Hahaha just look at his poor face!  He just hung his head as if to say, “Awww mom!  Don’t do my nails in front of all these other doggies!”  Dana was showing us how to use a Dremel tool to work on your dog’s nails as opposed to clipping them. (Ugh – that just reminds me that I was going to look at Dremels yesterday and I forgot.)

This was the point where Duchess said, “I give you big kisses if you never do that to me.”

Something new this week was heeling at different paces – slow, normal, and fast.  To get a Great Dane to move “fast” that means the Great Dane’s human has to haul some serious bootay.  Getting me to move that fast meant that half of the contents of the treat pouch went flying all over the training room.  My instructor was nice enough to gather them for me.

And the recall exercise went much better this week as well.

While other people were doing the recall exercise, I noticed that the boy was VERY intent on what was going on and that his ribs were perfectly exposed for a good jabbing.  I slowly moved my hand under my arm and moved in to the perfect position to deliver a good poke right between the ribs.

I let it fly… just at the very moment that the entire room – all 20 something people and 20 something dogs all got silent.  The boy let out a squeal that would rival any 12 year old girl at a Hilary Duff concert.  Also, the frequency of that squeal must have matched the resonant frequency and acoustics of that room to a T because it was amplified by about a bazillion.

People jumped.  People gasped.  People freaked.  Dogs peed themselves.  In other words – It. Was. Hilarious.

The boy was uber embarrassed, but he was laughing too hard to even care.  About ten minutes later when we all got back on the floor for another exercise, he was STILL giggling about it.

So what did we learn this week?  Dobermans have tough exteriors, but in their spare time enjoy pedicures, spa trips, and antiquing.  We learned not to run fast with an open treat pouch.  Most importantly, I learned that there’s a spot between the 3rd and 4th rib on the right side of the boy that can make him squeal like one of those mindless Twilight girls.

However, with great power comes great responsibility, which means that I’m to not use that last bit of knowledge again.  Unless of course it’s going to be wicked hilarious.

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So we loaded up and went to town (we live in the boonies – we’re just a jalopy away from being hillbillies) to take the boy to gamble… I mean… play token games at an arcade as his reward for getting straight A’s.  Don’t judge me.  I can hear the tsk tsk’s from here through the magic of the interwebz.  He enjoys it, and as long as he’s not spending his lunch money on them or gets in trouble for some sort of organized crime at elementary school, I’m fine with it.  Well, he does have a little racket going to “upgrade” lunchroom desserts for a small fee, but I don’t see anything wrong with that – that’s just fostering an entrepreneurial spirit and future life skill I think.

Anyway, we made the trip and I needed to stop by Petsmart (like we always do) just to take a couple of quick pictures for an upcoming blog entry that I’m doing.  Well I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but we made a trip down the toy aisle without Duchess being there.  Ooooh stupid, stupid humans.  If you remember in previous entries, she turns her nose up at the toys, which keeps us moving right along.  That didn’t happen today with her not there.

We came home with new toys and reloaded our training treats… oh, and a cool bathing mitt like we used at the groomer’s once.  That thing worked like a charm and made all kinds of lather.  I’ll test it out and let you know how it works later.

Do you see the big alligator?  Or is it a crocodile?  I’m not certain… but I’m going with alligator because A is before C in the alphabet.  That’s how I settle most debates where I know absolutely nothing about the subject matter, and I don’t know jack about the differences between alligators and crocodiles when it comes to stuffed toys.  Real life crocodiles and alligators?  Now we can talk – but stuffed toy ones?  I ain’t got nothin’ to say to you.

So yes, the alligator in the picture.  One of us (I can’t remember which, you know, from being all overstimulated by the aisle of brightly colored toys and no dog to supervise us), found it in the aisle and I went “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!” and my vampire wife went, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”.  Why?  Read this tag attached to the alligator…

Oliver the Anti-Social Corgi HATES, LOATHES, and DETESTS squeaky toys.  I mean, not in a disinterested, aloof sort of way.  More of a “I’m going to absolutely come unglued and be the Ike to your Tina Turner if you squeak that idiotic thing one more time” kind of way.  Which means of course I just had to buy it.  I like to think of it as – confronting that which you fear or detest the most.  Yeah, that’s it.

Duchess was a little timid with the alligator at first.  Wait a minute.  That thing needs a name.  Something with that level of magnitude can NOT just remain “the alligator” and it can’t be named anything cutesie like her “woobie” (mainly because she already has a woobie).  So if any readers have a good name for it, please leave me a comment with your suggestion!

Where was I?  (Man I am ADD tonight.  I think it’s the fact that I haven’t had food for quite some time and my blood sugar is getting all whack.  Feeling a little tingly and lightheaded at this point.)  Oh yes, she’s timid with the unnamed alligator – I think because we’ve never let her have anything like this before because toys of this sort usually get shredded in a matter of  hours after they cross our threshold.

After a few minutes though she was jumping and flinging it around.  I tried to get a movie of this in progress to share, but when she hears the beep of the camera turn on she always stops whatever it is she’s doing.

The funny thing – Oliver the Anti Social Corgi didn’t seem to mind the squeakers at all.  Go figure.  Jake didn’t want much to do with it either.  We then moved on to the new Kong Wubba thingymajig that’s a fun toss around toy that looks pretty indestructible.

She loves to play catch… but in this case she missed.

And this is a blurry picture of what she looks like when she leaps into the air to catch it and almost hits the ceiling fan (she can get some serious air when she jumps straight up).

That’s all well and good, but there’s really only one way to see if she really approves of the new additions – and that’s if she tries to look really cute to get your attention while she’s playing.  These passed the test.

I thought I took one of her doing this with the alligator too, but it’s magically disappeared… or dustappeared as my boy likes to say.  Hmmm.

Something else happened at Petsmart yesterday.  As we were strolling the aisles, my vampire wife stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes got huge and she did one of her heart-stopping gasps that she’s so famous for.  Of course, I stopped, clutched my heart, felt my stomach go in knots for a second… thinking we left the garage door open, she left a candle going, the curling iron is on and lying right underneath a pile of kleenex soaked in gasoline… you know, the usual things that go through your mind when someone gasps as if a ghost has passed right through their soul.

But no, it wasn’t anything like that.  She was just barely able to utter something (at about 48920592 words per minute I might add).  It sounded something like “gahrfenladle”.  I don’t know what a “gahrfenladle” is so I asked again and she said, “GOLDENDOODLE!  SOMEONE JUST SAID GOLDENDOODLE!”  I don’t know if you remember… but she’s obsessed with Goldendoodles.  Somehow in a giant department store full of people, barking dogs, etc. my wife was able to hear someone say the word Goldendoodle.  It’s the vampire in her I think.

We took off and we hunted down this very nice mom and daughter that had this goldendoodle with them.  My vampire wife asked to pet him and I could see the wheels turning in her head – “now how do I incapacitate these two ladies so that I can bolt out of here with this dog?”

See that look on her face?  That’s usually the look most women get when they meet someone’s new baby.  In our house it’s a little different.  We get those looks when we see a dog we reeeeeeeeally want.  I think there may be trouble on the horizon… according to the sounds from her laptop, she’s playing Farmville and CafeWorld, but I’m just wondering if those are up and running as a front, and there’s really a browser window open with a google search for nearby Goldendoodles going on.

When will we ever learn to stay away from Petsmart?

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