So we loaded up and went to town (we live in the boonies – we’re just a jalopy away from being hillbillies) to take the boy to gamble… I mean… play token games at an arcade as his reward for getting straight A’s. Don’t judge me. I can hear the tsk tsk’s from here through the magic of the interwebz. He enjoys it, and as long as he’s not spending his lunch money on them or gets in trouble for some sort of organized crime at elementary school, I’m fine with it. Well, he does have a little racket going to “upgrade” lunchroom desserts for a small fee, but I don’t see anything wrong with that – that’s just fostering an entrepreneurial spirit and future life skill I think.
Anyway, we made the trip and I needed to stop by Petsmart (like we always do) just to take a couple of quick pictures for an upcoming blog entry that I’m doing. Well I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but we made a trip down the toy aisle without Duchess being there. Ooooh stupid, stupid humans. If you remember in previous entries, she turns her nose up at the toys, which keeps us moving right along. That didn’t happen today with her not there.
We came home with new toys and reloaded our training treats… oh, and a cool bathing mitt like we used at the groomer’s once. That thing worked like a charm and made all kinds of lather. I’ll test it out and let you know how it works later.
Do you see the big alligator? Or is it a crocodile? I’m not certain… but I’m going with alligator because A is before C in the alphabet. That’s how I settle most debates where I know absolutely nothing about the subject matter, and I don’t know jack about the differences between alligators and crocodiles when it comes to stuffed toys. Real life crocodiles and alligators? Now we can talk – but stuffed toy ones? I ain’t got nothin’ to say to you.
So yes, the alligator in the picture. One of us (I can’t remember which, you know, from being all overstimulated by the aisle of brightly colored toys and no dog to supervise us), found it in the aisle and I went “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!” and my vampire wife went, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”. Why? Read this tag attached to the alligator…
Oliver the Anti-Social Corgi HATES, LOATHES, and DETESTS squeaky toys. I mean, not in a disinterested, aloof sort of way. More of a “I’m going to absolutely come unglued and be the Ike to your Tina Turner if you squeak that idiotic thing one more time” kind of way. Which means of course I just had to buy it. I like to think of it as – confronting that which you fear or detest the most. Yeah, that’s it.
Duchess was a little timid with the alligator at first. Wait a minute. That thing needs a name. Something with that level of magnitude can NOT just remain “the alligator” and it can’t be named anything cutesie like her “woobie” (mainly because she already has a woobie). So if any readers have a good name for it, please leave me a comment with your suggestion!
Where was I? (Man I am ADD tonight. I think it’s the fact that I haven’t had food for quite some time and my blood sugar is getting all whack. Feeling a little tingly and lightheaded at this point.) Oh yes, she’s timid with the unnamed alligator – I think because we’ve never let her have anything like this before because toys of this sort usually get shredded in a matter of hours after they cross our threshold.
After a few minutes though she was jumping and flinging it around. I tried to get a movie of this in progress to share, but when she hears the beep of the camera turn on she always stops whatever it is she’s doing.
The funny thing – Oliver the Anti Social Corgi didn’t seem to mind the squeakers at all. Go figure. Jake didn’t want much to do with it either. We then moved on to the new Kong Wubba thingymajig that’s a fun toss around toy that looks pretty indestructible.
She loves to play catch… but in this case she missed.
And this is a blurry picture of what she looks like when she leaps into the air to catch it and almost hits the ceiling fan (she can get some serious air when she jumps straight up).
That’s all well and good, but there’s really only one way to see if she really approves of the new additions – and that’s if she tries to look really cute to get your attention while she’s playing. These passed the test.
I thought I took one of her doing this with the alligator too, but it’s magically disappeared… or dustappeared as my boy likes to say. Hmmm.
Something else happened at Petsmart yesterday. As we were strolling the aisles, my vampire wife stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes got huge and she did one of her heart-stopping gasps that she’s so famous for. Of course, I stopped, clutched my heart, felt my stomach go in knots for a second… thinking we left the garage door open, she left a candle going, the curling iron is on and lying right underneath a pile of kleenex soaked in gasoline… you know, the usual things that go through your mind when someone gasps as if a ghost has passed right through their soul.
But no, it wasn’t anything like that. She was just barely able to utter something (at about 48920592 words per minute I might add). It sounded something like “gahrfenladle”. I don’t know what a “gahrfenladle” is so I asked again and she said, “GOLDENDOODLE! SOMEONE JUST SAID GOLDENDOODLE!” I don’t know if you remember… but she’s obsessed with Goldendoodles. Somehow in a giant department store full of people, barking dogs, etc. my wife was able to hear someone say the word Goldendoodle. It’s the vampire in her I think.
We took off and we hunted down this very nice mom and daughter that had this goldendoodle with them. My vampire wife asked to pet him and I could see the wheels turning in her head – “now how do I incapacitate these two ladies so that I can bolt out of here with this dog?”
See that look on her face? That’s usually the look most women get when they meet someone’s new baby. In our house it’s a little different. We get those looks when we see a dog we reeeeeeeeally want. I think there may be trouble on the horizon… according to the sounds from her laptop, she’s playing Farmville and CafeWorld, but I’m just wondering if those are up and running as a front, and there’s really a browser window open with a google search for nearby Goldendoodles going on.
When will we ever learn to stay away from Petsmart?
Life With Duchess - A Blog about the Adventures of a Great Dane 